Mother’s Day is not joyful for everyone

I’m on vacation this week, but I wanted to share this post that I originally posted last year.

Mother’s day is upon us and hopefully we will remember to call our mothers, send a card, or in someway let them know we love them and are thankful for what they mean to us. Those of us that have children surrounding us will be getting lots of hugs and kisses, homemade cards, and little gifts that they really can’t keep a secret. (Mine is pink, Stefan says, but he won’t tell me more ;) ).

I hope that we all have a joyful day on Sunday.

But there are some for whom this day hurts. And I just want to take a moment to remind you not to forget them.

The Motherless Child

I was walking through the grocery store the other day and everywhere I looked were signs of Mother’s Day. Of course, this is just a commercial agenda to buy more, but hopefully it will remind people to not forget their mothers. I couldn’t help but think of seven children I know, my cousin’s children, who might find these signs of Mother’s Day painful. Mother’s Day accentuates what they already know all to well. They don’t have a mother anymore, and all their friends do. Sunday they will spend their first Mother’s Day without their mom to give sticky cards to and tight hugs. Their hearts are going to ache. If you know a child in this situation, you may or may not be able to do anything. But, at least, remember to pray for them. The memories will be hard.

The One With Painful Memories of Their Mother

It pains me to think that some have horrible memories of their mother. I am beyond blessed to have had a wonderful and loving mother, so I do not understand the depths of your pain. But if this is you, or someone you know, Mother’s Day can be a dark spot on the calendar. The day they are reminded of everything there mother was not. The day memories they have tried to forget somehow jump to their minds. Be sensitive. Not everyone had a loving mother.

The One Who Has Yet to Mother

The ache of empty arms seems heavier on this day. As all the moms around you are enjoying the day, this woman seems to be just a bystander. Aching to be a part, and yet wondering if she ever will. Whether you have been trying to conceive for 2 years or 10 years, the yearning is ever present. Be sensitive and aware.

I would encourage you to remember your friends that might be in anyone of these places. It can seem awkward, but I promise you, they will be grateful. Tell them you are thinking about them, especially on Mother’s Day. Write them a card. However small, acknowledge that you understand that this day is difficult. Don’t just do nothing.

I remember last year going up to my friend and telling her I was thinking about her. I had a 3-year-old grabbing onto my leg, I was holding my daughter, and I was visibly pregnant. Sometimes because we don’t want to make them more sad we just keep our distance. But, thankfully I have had friends tell me that that is much worse. Obviously, I have not struggled with infertility, and yes, that means I don’t truly understand. But I do care. And letting my friends know I care means a lot.

I hope that for you, Mother’s Day is a truly joyful day! I will be savoring the little things with my kids. Because these years truly do fly by!

How will you be spending Mother’s Day?

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Comments

  1. Christi says:

    I’ll be celebrating with my own wonderful mother and extended family. While I am looking forward to a joy-filled day with them, there is a place is my heart that aches for a child of my own. You are right that knowing someone cares means a lot.

  2. Thank you, sweet cousin, I have been holding my breath – Mother’s day for us will certainly include a trip to the cemetery and some more tears. But I am certain, (by infallible promise confirmed through experience) that it will also be a day that holds a wealthy supply of amazing grace. When we get through it, we long for that to be the triumphant theme. Jon

    • Johanna says:

      Oh, Jon, this just breaks my heart. Just know that Brian and I are praying extra for you this week leading up to Mother’s Day. God’s grace is so amazing, and I am blessed to be able to watch it in your life. Always praying for you.

  3. Rachel says:

    Let us also not forget the mothers who have lost a child.

    • Johanna says:

      Rachel, thank you so much for reminding us of this. I cannot imagine the pain of having to watch our own children go before us. I’m sorry I neglected to include that. I will definitely be thinking about those mothers as well.

  4. Debi Hughes says:

    I absolutely dread Mother’s Day!!! It no fun when you have grown children that aren’t speaking to you and in everyway show you they can’t stand you when you haven’t done anything to them, no one is perfect, not even your spoiled rotten child that tell you that you’ve never done anything for them, she was raised in a Christian home and given anything she wanted, had a wonderful relationship with her until she turned 30 over a miscommunication, I’ve even said “I’m sorry” when I haven’t done anything!!!! That rips your heart out!!! Thank you for letting me get that burden off my chest!!!!! I have just given it to God!!!!

    • Johanna says:

      Debi, I can’t imagine the heartbreak you must feel. I pray that God will give you grace to show love when love is not reciprocated, and the joy of someday seeing a restored relationship.

  5. Rachel says:

    Thanks for sharing. I know someone in each situation you gave as an example and this post encourages me to reach out to them (even if it means getting out of my comfort zone to do so!) this Mother’s Day to let them know that I care.

    Also, your cousin and his sweet children were already on my mind; I will be praying for the Lord to pour out His all-sufficient grace upon them during these difficult days! (Jon and Amy worked with my youth group when I was in Jr. High, and they both attended college with my husband, though they were a couple of years his senior). Amy was a blessing and encouragement to me as a young teen, and her testimony throughout her illness impacted my life in a profound way as well.

    • Johanna says:

      Rachel, I know you will be a blessing to your friends just by caring. And that is so neat that you knew Jon and Amy. Amy’s testimony was such a blessing to us all.

  6. Ashley says:

    This topic has been on my heart so much this week. Thank you for this loving, truth-filled post, reminding us to do something — pray, speak kind words, show love and care, send a card — to bring the love of Christ to another. We can be so caught up in our own preparations/celebrations/etc. that we forget to look up and around. I’ve been so struck by how many people I know this year who are celebrating their first mother’s day without their own. Praying God’s keeping for them and for those in the other situations you describe.

    • Johanna says:

      Yes, the more I look around me, the more I realize there are so many people in situations like these. It is sad, but I’m thankful you and others are aware. :)

  7. Lori says:

    The motherless child can be any age — adult friends who have lost their mother are also experiencing deep sadness this weekend. xoxo

  8. Lou Ann says:

    Thanks for sharing the “flipside” of Mother’s Day. I can add one more: the guilty mother. I’ve known several mothers who knew they had “reaped what they had sown” when none of their children cared to do anything for them on their day, when they knew that all the nice things the pastor said in his message had nothing to do with them. It’s sad, and it happens all too often. It is good to be sensitive to all the hurting people on this special day–as well as honoring our own good mothers and thanking God for His graciousness to us in letting us have them.

  9. Elsbeth Rodgers says:

    Thanks for this post, Johanna. Last Mother’s Day you encouraged me by telling me I had the heart of a mother. I cherished those words as Jeremy and I struggled to conceive. The fact you remembered me and took the time to speak blessed my heart. I’m so glad you didn’t shy away from the topic of Motherhood. One year later, I cuddle my sweet Loralyn and thank the Lord for her tiny life!

  10. Sharon Benzing says:

    I’m looking forward to our church’s Mother’s Day banquet with my daughters-in-law Sarah and Tabby Saturday evening. It is Sarah’s first Mother’s Day as mom of little Logan and Tabby as expecting baby Benzing in July. It’ s also my first as Grandma! The Lord is good.

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Trackbacks

  1. [...] Mother’s Day is not Joyful for Everyone - I would encourage you to remember your friends that might be in anyone of these places. It can seem awkward, but I promise you, they will be grateful. Tell them you are thinking about them, especially on Mother’s Day. Write them a card. However small, acknowledge that you understand that this day is difficult. Don’t just do nothing.  I remember last year going up to my friend and telling her I was thinking about her. I had a 3-year-old grabbing onto my leg, I was holding my daughter, and I was visibly pregnant. Sometimes because we don’t want to make them more sad we just keep our distance. But, thankfully I have had friends tell me that that is much worse. Obviously, I have not struggled with infertility, and yes, that means I don’t truly understand. But I do care. And letting my friends know I care means a lot. – Johanna Hanson Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Categories: This and That Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Leave a comment Trackback [...]

  2. [...] let’s not forget those for whom Mother’s Day is not joyful. Let’s be sensitive to those who don’t have a reason to celebrate [...]

  3. [...] Mother’s Day is not Joyful for Everyone by Johanna Hanson Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. « Previous post [...]

  4. [...] let’s not forget those for whom Mother’s Day is not joyful. Let’s be sensitive to those who don’t have a reason to celebrate [...]

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